June 2000
  

June 10, 2000
Eva was 7 weeks old on Friday. She cries real tears when she cries now, and she has so many cries- different tones that mean so many different things. She smiles when she wakes up in the mornings, and cries when she is tired at night. I think she is a morning person. She really fights sleeping- she hates going to sleep if there is anything going on- she also likes being upright and looking around. She can hold her head up for longer and longer periods every day, and even when her head slouches a little, her eyes are bright and curious. She's started pouting too- it's the cutest little pout in the world.

Ken and I took her to Arizona last weekend. It was Ernie's wedding. . That was pretty wonderful. Ernie's parents were so happy, and his new bride is perfect- funny, friendly, gorgeous (her features are a lot like his- you can tell exactly what their kids might look like). We almost didn't make it, but he's only going to get married once! I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Ernie wrote their vows, and the ceremony was at their home in Flagstaff. It was beautiful and perfect. Ernie cried when he spoke his vows, and everybody laughed... same old Ernie. He is well loved there.

Gwen was there too. I've known Gwen since we were in second grade. She just gets more and more beautiful every year. It's been 6 years since I saw her last, at Kari's wedding � Gwen was engaged to be married then. Now, She's just finalized her divorce... I wish I had had more time to catch up. It seems a million lifetimes since Michigan.

We spent a night at Iron Springs. It felt like coming home to be there. It felt good hanging out with Gram too. We drove down to Mesa on Sunday to spend some time with Grandma and show off Eva. Grandma gave us several things that she had been given at a baby shower over 50 years ago, right before my father was born. I guess some people thought Dad was going to be a girl.
Ha.
I'm hoping to find the time to have Eva photographed in them, and then have them shadow-boxed- they're far too pretty to wear. One is a very delicate translucent little pink shirt with lace trim. Mom says it's stronger than it looks- that this is how babies dressed in Arizona in the '40's and '50's. Mom made me a look alike outfit (2 actually) in the same delicate material- in shades of blue, and rushed them out to me so that Eva would have something to wear while we were in Arizona. Those little fragile looking shirts, in their mermaid tones look like something a fairytale princess would wear. If Eva's a doll- playing type of girl, she's going to LOVE these clothes for HER babies.

Breast-feeding has gotten easier, although we are still fighting Eva's tendency to pull off and want just the tip of the nipple. I don't blame her- who wants this enormous wad of boob shoved down their throat? She's getting better at aiming herself toward the food source too. When she senses she's close, she makes abrupt launching motions. It's surprising how often she ends up latched on before I even know that she's there. The rest of the time, her head goes careening into the side of my breast like biplanes into barns before the Wright brothers.

Eva can see farther all the time and she smiles more often. She's getting stronger (of course) and she seems bigger- I can only hope she's gaining weight and don't know what I'll do if they come back and tell me she's still only 8 pounds the next time we go to the doctor. Eva's started making these little noises too- like pre- "goo" type noises. They sound like the beginnings of words and language, and I guess that's what they are. She doesn't laugh yet, but she does make this little coo noise which sounds like the begging of MY laugh- her mimic skills are unbelievable.

June 2
Man and Wife.

June 3
Heather and Eva at Iron Springs.

June 9
Eva, June 9.

June 10

June 12
Eva did two amazing things today, for the first time. She made a real "goo" noise early in the morning; and this evening, she looked at me and giggled her first real giggle! Of course, she's been working up to both of these, but so far, her laughs have just been one syllable mimics of mine- this may be somewhat the same, but it was a definite giggle.

We spent the afternoon in Berkeley, at a one-year-old birthday party for Eric Hsu-Storkaker. His parents, Scott and Lily were married, maybe 7 years ago? Scott and Ken started their old comic collective, "Puppy Toss" together, along with Dylan Williams. We haven't seen Dylan in years and really miss him, but it was really nice to see Lilly and Scott. We didn't even know they were pregnant! Eric is a cutie- he looks so much like both of them. I'm hoping we can see more of them. As always, people commented on how little Eva is. Several well-meaning parents commented on her infant acne, remembering their children and going through the same thing. It surprised me, because my internal thoughts are that it's so much better than it was- I want to say, "Geez, you think THIS is bad? You should have seen what she looked like a few weeks ago!" I guess everything is perspective.

I also got a letter from Grandma. Her eyes are worse. The doctor says both eyes have cataracts and she's going to need surgery. While we were in Arizona, she was already not driving her car at night. I worry about her a lot and wish I lived closer, so that we could spend more time together. I wish granddad were still alive. I can't imagine what it must be like to spend 40, 50 years living your life with one fantastic person, and having your personality tempered by their constant daily presence, and then suddenly they're gone and gone forever. Nobody on this earth gets me like Ken does, and as these few years have gone by, that sense has only increased.

June 18
June 30
Eva before she refused to take a bottle.

June 13
Got email from Meesh today- she is stuck off her feet with a cast and can't walk. I miss her so much. I spent most of the day with Moira and Zachary-Kai. It was so much fun to see Kai and Eva together. Mostly, they ignore each other, but if one waved their hands, the other would too, and if one cried... well, that's when we finally went home.

Meesh asked how Ken and I came up with the name "Eva"�it was the only name we could agree on. We looked at thousands of names and that one was the only one that made the final rounds. Her middle name, Indigo, was vetoed by Ken at first, but the more I said it, the more I liked it, and I told him he had to come up with something better by birth time, or Indigo was gonna stick... And there you have it.

I also put more pictures online tonight. It's amazing how many people are already in Eva's life... some I don't even have picture of yet, and some who haven't even met her yet (like Meesh and Carole). We just feel so blessed. Actually, we ARE blessed (I almost forgot). For one thing, Brandon gave Eva his charm/medallion, which is like a blessing. And then, when we were at the airport, one of those guys in the Skycabs offered us a ride from one end of the airport to the other. He thought Eva was beautiful, and told us a little bit about his own kids at home� and then blessed her. It was a long blessing and he repeated it in English and then in Spanish. It was one of those moments when all other sounds seemed to fade away, and I felt the wind rushing by (the Skycab was going pretty fast) and this stranger's words reverberated around us� like we were in a pocket of time that was separate from the rest of the world. Then the Skycab stopped and we got off and walked away. Do I believe in blessings? Yes. Most of our masks are gifts and of those, a fair amount are blessings of some sort or another. I've always liked to think that those masks are keeping me safe- keeping evil spirits at bay. And who knows�

Meesh said I looked beautiful, and seemed to give off a different kind of energy now. Of course, I was terribly flattered. I think I still weigh around 230, and it gets me down sometimes. On the other hand, it's hard to get tooooo down, when I have Eva in my arms. At night, she cuddles up to me as we go to sleep. It's the sweetest feeling in the world. I'm not sure you could really say she loved us at first, you know? Everything was so new to her- she needed us, but everything was just survival. Anyway, now, I think she loves us, and loves us more every day. Especially me, because she spends SO much time in my arms and whenever she's awake, I try to play with her or sing to her. I'm home to her.

June 15
Eva Yoshie and Ellie.

June 13
Eva and Kai

June 16

June 14
You would not believe what Eva just did. She exploded in a burst of seedy, mustard colored poop, all over. It squeezed out of the side of her diaper and managed to get all over the inside of her brand-new overalls, all over her toes, oozed out to cover my shirt, dripped down my skirt, and squirted all over the chair. I heard the grunt and the sound of initial impact, and got up to change the diaper, not even noticing the extent of the damage. I didn't catch the poop on me until I'd already given up on using the changing table, and had moved on to the use kitchen sink to hose her down (it's my second line of defense). That's when I saw what she'd left on my clothes, and from then, I was just a hop, skip, and sneaking suspicion away from discovering the mess on the chair. I still can't believe it! I know it's the new parents clich�, but I HAD JUST CHANGED HER!!!
Geez.
On the other hand, she seemed to enjoy getting an extra bath, and it gave me a chance to snap some quick shots of her to put in a frame for Ken, for Father's Day. His first father's day- it's pretty cool. I bought a frame 2 weeks ago that looked like something he'd put on his desk, and now I've finally got the pictures to put in it. Eva has been a very unhappy baby today. I had some hummus with a lot of garlic in it yesterday, and it has not been kind to her digestive system. Poor baby. In general, she's been getting the hang of this whole "gas" and processing thing, but this is obviously causing some pressure and discomfort. I've had to change her clothes three times so far today! I put her Winnie-the-pooh hat with the ears on it, on her this last time. It looks so cute. At least one of us is happy.

Later- Can you believe I changed her two more times? At least the hat is still clean.

 

June 14

June 14

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